Sunday, January 25, 2009

I quit

I quit the rescue. Every Friday but for a handful, I drove 20 miles to clean the shelter and spend time with the dogs for 2 1/2 years. No more.

It wasnt' just Hans although that was the last straw. There were many things I brought up but never got answers on and it was never clear who was in charge of what. If I couldn't come in, I didn't know what to do besides posting for help over and over; if there was a specific problem with a dog, I'd ask what was to be done but rarely did I get an answer leading me to believe they didn't want to be bothered.

I just didn't feel significant. Maybe I wasn't but for 2 1/2 years, I was good enough to spend my Friday's cleaning and looking after the needs of the dogs. When I had an opinion, I was just the "cheap labor". Guess I didn't fit in.

3 comments:

Sheila said...

I'm so sorry to hear that things worked out this way. I can understand how you feel, but the dogs are still going to miss you :(
(That isn't intended as criticism of your decision at all, just recognition of the good work you've done.)

Nancy J. said...

It was only a month ago that you wrote in "Hans" if you quit you would not be helping the dogs. I always admired your committment to your Friday night rescue volunteer. When you could be out on a date, going to a movie, going out for dinner there you were every Friday helping all the dogs. Have you had time to ask yourself "the truth" of your decision? Will it cause them to see the error of their ways? Will the strive to make it better? Perhaps you were the only "steady", the only "compass" those animals came to know and depend on.
Then again, after you seek and find your "truth" you may make things better all on your own. It takes courage not to just quit but to take another path along the way to further your own compass. In turn you will again be their compass.

jain said...

The rescue does right by many of their dogs, I just couldn't continue to live with the dissonance the conflict caused within me. Probably if they would have tried to convince me in some way, I could have stayed but it became personal and they became defensive so there was no further discussion. Wish I were tougher and these things didn't bother me so much but I am very sensitive. Life is one big learning experience and I have a long ways to go!